Layne Staley 1967-2002
I
have setup this page as a way for everyone who has sent e-mail to share their
feelings and art about our dear departed friend - Layne Staley. Rest In Peace
Brother!
If you prefer, you can Sign/View the GUESTBOOK anonymously here.
Contributions can be
made to:
Eastside Recovery Center
1412 140th Place NE
Bellevue, WA 98007
These
are some of the numerous e-mails and pictures I've gotten recently.
Sorry I can't respond to everyone, but I do read EVERY e-mail I get.
Click HERE to contribute.
Alice In Chains' Official Statement:
"On April 19, 2002 our friend Layne Staley was found dead in his Seattle home. The official cause of the death is still unknown. Yesterday we all managed to come together in Seattle. It's good to be with friends and family as we struggle to deal with this immense loss and try to celebrate this immense life. We're all looking for the usual things: comfort, purpose, answers, something to hold on to...a way to let him go in peace. Mostly we're all feeling heartbroken over the death of our beautiful friend. He was a sweet man with a keen sense of humor and a deep sense of humanity. He was an amazing musician, an inspiration, and a comfort to so many. He made great music and gifted it to the world. We are proud to have known him, to be his friend, and to create music with him. For the past decade, Layne struggled greatly. We can only hope that he has at last found peace. We love you, Layne, dearly, and we will miss you endlessly."
Here's the new address for the
new Layne Global Tribute site
www.laynestaleytribute.com
Hello,
I'm going to start this message by saying that I know no words could take
away what you feel right now.
It's alright to feel pain, sorrow and grief- it's yours to keep, but please
keep the memory alive.
Layne has touched my soul in such a way I'll never be able to express, there
were never words invented to describe how much.
I'll always F-E-E-L when I'll listen to his amazing heavenly voice.
I've always felt he's done so much for me and helped me through so many things
and a few years I've tried helping him as well. I got in touch with Jeniffer
from the fan club and convinced her to pass Layne a letter from me. In this
letter I was trying so hard to put a smile on his face, let him know how much
he's loved and give him hope. I deeply hope he read it and smiled a bit.
I don't know who's reading this, but if Layne's family and close friends read
this, keep in mind he was a living angel who wanted to fly, go through the
beautiful songs and poems he gave us and cherish them, they'll remain forever-
they are a gift from Layne to us, they are pure- and so was he.
When I heard the news about Layne, I was in great pain. I still am.
I'm trying to convince myself he struggled through the past decade (as his
band mates/ friends say) and that he's in ease now. I remember he once said
he's afraid of death by his own hands, that's probably why he continued fighting
his demons.
I'd like to believe an angel came down from heaven, gave him a hand and swept
his spirit off his tortured body, took him away from his pain.
I know I'll miss him and that he'll never be forgotten, I know I've lost a
close soul which always made me feel better and was my inspiration in the
past years (still is).
I don't know how to say this but here we go:
When we cry over the death of our beloved ones, we cry a selfish-cry..
we cry because that person is no longer with us and it hurts us so much that
we forget that this person is no longer in pysically/mentally pain.
Since 04.20. ,when I heard the terrible news, I've realized (again, not for
the first time of my life)-
tears are endless, BUT please be strong and live through this, together we'll
make sure beautiful Layne will be remembered for his strenght and talent.
That's the way he wanted to be remembered.
Good bless our angel Layne,
It's so hard to write the next thing-
R.I.P Laynie.
-Shelly shelleym@netvision.net.il
There is a much larger
tragedy behind Layne's death and this pertains to the well-established methods
of "self-medication" for people suffering from depression. Some
30,000 people a year commit suicide every year in the US, far more than the
homicide rate; above and beyond this is a gray area of "accidents",
"drug overdoses" etc, which represent an unknown suicide statistic.
I followed Layne's music closely and his lyrics spoke to many of us who have
crawled through the valley of shadow, the malignant sadness of depression.
Withdrawal, self-medication... these are classic indicators. Depression is
a disease and we are in the midst of an epidemic far more lethal than AIDS
in North America; far too many taboos and obstacles still exist in recognizing
and treating this. I know, I am a victim myself and cannot afford the real
treatment I need. I obviously don't judge Layne. He was/is a brave soul, who
charted his passage through an inner darkness most of us do whatever we can
to avoid. But there is meaning in this darkness, and Layne shed light upon
it. He had his measure of greatness in sharing it while in the midst of it.
I think that is the point I wished to make here. Staley was not just immensely
talented, he was brave. No one who has not descended into those depths--and
life sometimes just finds you there--can blame one for finally "giving
up." Let us have the insight and sensitivity to help others suffering
from this disease. Let us listen, really listen, when someone like Layne speaks
to us again.
DMcB
i'm really sorry. i would
like to say everythings is in my head now, but i'm italian and i don't try
with this language.
i just say that i love his lyrics, his voice. in my life his music was very
important.
i'm sorry, i can image the pain of his family.
i'm really sorry.
he will be with me forever.
federica
My heart goes out to
Layne's family... and to Jerry,Sean, Mike... Layne
ment alot to so many ,and he ment a whole lot too me. His music was a gift
that I will always cherish.Alice In Chains helped me through some rough times
in my life, I'am very greatful for the music ... Part of my soul left this
world when I found out. I hope he is resting in peace...... watching over
the people who loved him... I will miss you Layne.....God Bless
...................................
Stevlkngfrsm
April 19, 2002
I cannot begin to describe how I feel at finding out that Layne Staley has passed away.
I can only think about what his music, his words have meant and done for me over the years.
When I was first introduced to AIC, I felt that I had finally found the one person in the world whose words, thoughts and feelings could be my own... someone who world understand and maybe even empathize with the fucked up world that I had grown accustomed to.
Addiction
Heartbreak
Rejection
Isolation
Confusion
Loneliness
Desperation
I find myself sitting here unable to trap the thoughts, to make them be still long enough for me to get them out...for them to make sense.
I was convinced that I was the only person in the world, who...was so fucked up. I was incapable of love, trust, emotion... but at the same time I was full of it and didn't know how to deal with it, especially by myself.
I had friends.... but nobody knew what I was feeling or going through for so long. I couldn't face my demons myself, why would I trust someone else to help me?
I found in Layne's words strength, courage, solace, and most important ....something to identify with. Music is a powerful source, an outlet. I never realized how much so until Alice In Chains. I never really listened to music before. I heard the music, I heard the words, but I didn't listen.... and there is a big difference. I was always surrounded by music growing up.... my parents were complete hippies and actually had damn good taste in music, but Zeppelin, Skynard, Janis and the like didn't know my pain.
I remember times back then, I would sit in a completely dark room, usually the bathroom in my apartment.... I would sit....strung out, drunk, smoking like a chimney....scared and all alone, but I always had Layne's words with me.... and the passion with which he sang, the raw emotion... I honestly felt what he was saying almost as if only to me.....and I would make it another night.
I always had the music.
During those times I was never without my AIC 'collection' and a radio, at the very least. No matter what situation I was going through, or what was going on in my life.... Layne had the antidote.
It's hard to imagine how someone could find such strength from such dark and despair words. I have been asked that question many times, but it is sometimes something that can't be explained.... I would always (and still do) chalk it up to being able to identify with someone... not so much that I thought he could identify with me, but on the level that I was finally able to feel something, I could understand what he was going through, feeling and maybe thinking..... maybe there was hope for me, yet.
Sometimes you or people around you, don't realize what an impact music has on you until something like this happens. I was talking with my mom today, telling her about it and broke down crying. She couldn't understand.... how could I be SO upset, hell, I didn't know the guy. I guess that is also something that can't be explained... it has to be felt. She might have had good taste in music, but it sure as hell didn't open her mind.
I know this entry doesn't make much sense and right about now, I really don't care. I have been watching all my AIC tapes, listening to my CD's thinking about...
how such a beautiful voice has been silenced forever...
such great talent so carelessley wasted...
These little manufactured pop stars have no idea of the tragedy that has happened today. They will never understand what we have lost.
Rest in peace, Layne... I will carry you in my heart and be 'forever in debt to your priceless advice...'
Allison
http://hometown.aol.com/krebsfires/layne.html
August 22, 2002
National Layne Staley Vigil
http://www.freewebz.com/staleytribute/index.htm
OR
E-mail:staleytribute822@hotmail.com
For information on the tribute in YOUR area!
FACELIFT is currently
working out where they will appear for this special occasion.
Check back for details!!!
Layne, what can I say
that hasn't already been said by so many others
who adored you. My young adult life has always been surrounded by music.
I am 28 now. I started listening to Aic when I was about 19 or 20. My
boyfriend who has been in and out of rehab, and should I say in and out
of death is in jail right now awaiting a sentence, all because of DRUGS
. I have been a user and was blessed with not becoming an "addict"
Aic
is a huge part of my life! I have completely related to the lyrics that
were sung and written by Layne and Jerry. I have always seen them in my
boyfriend. We have been living with his addictions for 10 yrs. now. I am
just so scared that he is going to end up dying like so many others that
follow that path. I always had a crush on Layne Staley, and my boyfriend
would always say to me "do you know what your listening to?, Why do you
diss me when I use, but you listen to this?", I would reply, he is just
singing about his pain. He's saying how it is. He's the real thing. And
oh what a great voice. they will never be another to catch my attention
the way that AIC/Mad Season did. I hope you found your sunny day Layne.
Katherine, San Antonio, Tx.
i would like to send
my deepest sympathy to the family
and friends of layne. i lost my share fare of friends
to overdoses , so i know what its like, to laynes
parents i too lost my son, while its hard now it does
get better as time goes on. i would like permission to
use laynes name in a song i am currently writing that
is dedicated to those of whom i loss through drugs
over the years, my friends as well as the entertainers
that i loved
sincerely yours
lillie rose causey
new orleans la.
=====
LILLIE BELL
"...And We Die Young"
A Tribute to Layne Staley (1967-2002)
He came across to the
world as quiet and mysterious, yet he left little
mystery behind his addiction. He told us so much through his music. He
told us everything. At times, he boasted of his habit with songs like
'Junkhead' and 'Real Thing'. He made you think the user knew better than
everyone else. Other songs - he confessed he was really lost and trapped
under the needle...and alone. He explained the paradox of feeling so high
and yet so low better than anyone. He once commented on the death of
Kurt Cobain. He said he didn't know him well, but he noticed he had
become so introverted before taking his own life. We watched as Layne did
the same. Although rock stars have been known throughout the years to die
untimely deaths such as theirs, Kurt didn't really die like a rock star
and neither did Layne. They died alone and by their own hands. His
metaphoric lyrics have come true. You "denied your maker", Layne.
The
opening song on Alice In Chain's first album, "Facelift", is "We
Die
Young". It was both a narrative and a premonition. Layne lost his
girlfriend, Demri Parrot to heroin. Wasn't this enough to make him stop?
Or maybe the death of John Baker Saunders, bassist of Mad Season (another
band Layne had fronted). Or others he knew and loved who had killed
themselves the same way? Instead, he followed the same path and forebode
us about it the entire way. When he was 28, he believed he was still
young as we heard him sing in the song 'Frogs'. Now at 34, it's too late.
When I was 14, I used to dream of being the one to dig him out of that
hole he was down in. I've never been a user myself, but I related to his
words as though they were my own. Jerry Cantrell once said that Alice In
Chains' music was about taking something ugly and turning it into
something beautiful. I have grown up beautifully listening to his words
of pain. He had touched my life with his voice and his music since I was
12, and 12 years later, I write Layne Staley this tribute.
Layne- A person and a
pain so private, yet you made it so public. We all
knew your problems. You sang it loud and clear for the world. We couldn't
save you, but we will always love you.
Cindy Mercurio ©
2002
IM A HUGE FAN OF LAYNE
AND AIC FROM NEW YORK, MY DEEPEST FEELINGS GO OUT TO
YOU,ONE OF MY DREAMS WAS TO EITHER SEE AIC PLAY LIVE OR MEET LAYNE.I EVEN
GONE AS FAR AS COPYING HIS HAIR STYLES AND STUFF, THE COOL BLEACH BLONDE WAS
MY FAVORITE{GIRLS LIKED IT}IT IS KILLING ME THAT I CAN NOT MAKE IT OUT TO
SEATTLE TO ATTEND THE VIGIL,BUT WILL TRY, EVEN IF I HAVE TO DRIVE.LAYNE WAS
THE COOLEST TREND SETTER.AS WE ALL KNOW THAT ALOT OF TODAYS BANDS ARE
INFLUENCED BY HIM.WELL TO LAYNES FAMILY FRIENDS AND BANDMATES MY HEART GOES
OUT TO YOU ALL,I WILL HAVE A VERY DIFFICULT TIME GETTING OVER THIS
INCIDENT,BUT PLEASE NEVER EVER FORGET ABOUT LAYNE,I AM GLAD TO SEE THAT
THERE IS AN EXCELLENT TRIBUTE BAND IN FACELIFTLIVE I SAW THEM IN 1998MBUT
WISH THEY WOULD PLAY IN SYRACUSE AGAIN. WELL I ALSO MADE A LAYNE TRIBUTE OF
PICS ON MY BEDROOM WALL. R.I.P LAYNE STALEY . PRAYING FOR YOU ALL,
CHAD
I just wanted to express my deepest sympathy to Layne's family. He brought something into my life and home that cannot be replaced. I am a long time Alice in Chains fan, and have been deeply affected. Layne is no longer suffering.
Norman
I just want to say to
the family that we are with them. Layne will be forever in our heart and I'm
sure his music will live a long long time. RIP Layne, we all love you.
Isabelle
Layne's innocence as
a child, his developing musical genius, his
weaknesses as a human being. He was one of you. I'm sorry his career and
life ended all too soon.
Bcimen
A few weeks ago, I red an interview with Jerry Cantrell. He said that Alice in chains had some plans for the future. I was really exited. I wanted to see then live, specially Layne. Layne's music helped me to make through some tough times. When listening to his music, I could talk to my self and say, "hey you are a tough kid! Do not let bad things in life put you down!". Layne did not did this for me, but for a lot of people all over the world as well. Layne did some wonderful things while making music, you should be really proud of him because we all are and we miss him a lot.
Pedro
To Layne's family and
friends, I am so very sorry for your loss.....I
wanted to share a special memory about Layne.............when my Mother
was suffering with cancer , she needed us to care for her at home
because she was in a hospital bed , with the morphine iv.....she didn't
even recognize me at times., and was having horrible seizures. I brought
the "unplugged" video with me one night.....it seemed to soothe
her....I
told her Layne was singing to her, and doesn't he sound beautiful. Her
seizures stopped, and she rested so peacefully....we were both comforted
by Layne's beautiful voice and words. My Mom died last year, and Layne
helped me so much in dealing with that . I'll never forget that, and I
am devastated by the loss of this beautiful person....I prayed for my
Mom to give Layne a big hug and look after him on his way to
heaven...I'm sure she will. Thank you, Layne....I'll always love you.
CloeDancer
Two weeks have passed
since I heard the news and still I can't believe it's true. Even though I
read it over and over again in black and white it won't sink in. Layne can't
be gone. Why is this world so unfair? He deserved more.
"Black is how I feel"
Lesley xxx
LONG LIVE ALICE IN CHAINS> Through Jerry,MIke, and Sean the music will go on.
Bobby
I do not fuckin believe
it.It amazes me the little connection Layne had w/
the outside world. He must of
been in a real bad way.Dope is the only drug that can take a mans' soul right
out of his body.This band in my opinion made the most feeling flowing
energetic music I have ever heard.The music of AIC MEANS so much to me,I
can't even put the feeling into words. I LOVE YOU LAYNE AND I'LL SEE YOU IN
THE NEXT DIMENSION.
THE LINES AND CRACKS
OF WHERE YOU GAVE UP MAKE YOU AN EASY
MAN TO READ .IN YOUR DARKEST TIMES YOU'LL BE WELL ADVISED NOT TO PLAN MY
FUNERAL BEFORE THE BODY DIES
10 LONG YEARS 10
Shplummer
every once in a while
some one will come into the music scene and make such
an imprint on the scene that they'll never be forgotten, this was layne. aged
34 he was considered a vetran of the seatlle music scene, unfortunatley
though part of the scene layne came to his demise. there are two sides to
every coin and both flips can lead somewhere but you have to flip the coin
to
decide your future, layne flipped his coin and choose his future and only
layne can tell his story.
but in life and death layne is always there, he's in our hearts, souls and
the words the sing and notes we play.
layne as you look down always remember what we meant to you and always
remember you meant to us.
'so i made a big mistake, try to see it once my way'
stu
I am planning a global
Vigil for Layne Staley on August 22nd. I opened this
mailbox up a week ago and it is almost full from responses. I have,
individuals, radio stations, newspapers, you name it, they're interested.
...We're in the process of
getting a website up now so that people from each city can coordinate their
efforts.
BTW we are trying to do this for addiction recovery awareness, so people
will be holding fundraisers for that at the rallies.
Hope to hear from you soon.
just really sad. I pray
God conforts the Staley family through this
massive loss. God bless. Layne Staley will be sorely missed.
Rodge
Like many people on Saturday, April 20, 2002, I was listening to the radio, when I heard that Layne Staley, one of of my last living idols, was found dead. I was shocked and angry like everyone. And still to this day I cry when I think that I may never hear that voice again. To add to that pain, I of course started thinking of my Friend Matt, who died in the exact way Layne did, only two months earlier. But this is not what I'm here to talk about .
Layne was funny and talented. One of the most talented people that I've ever gotten to know. That does sound a little strange, seeing that I never met Layne, or been to one of their concerts. But I have been a fan since about 1993. I never knew Layne personally, but still knew him on a personal level. For that I do call him my friend. And for anyone who would say, "you never met him, he's not your friend," I would say this: "Layne's voice is heard more in my house on a DAILY basis than any of my friends' voices ever will be in a lifetime." That makes him my friend, and of course friends with all Alice In Chains/ Mad Season fans. To say that I would miss Layne is inaccurate. He is around, and he knows how much we care. You just have to continue showing your love for him, he gets it. Layne Staley is an incarnation of a soul, a beautiful one at that, who is continuing to grow on the otherside. All of this is part of a plan, and it was all apart of ours before we got here to be touched by him.
Be Well,
Angela
This is one of the most
sadist days,When i first heard about Layne's passing a was saddend he was
the best musicians out their who had a passion for the music and a great talent!
he will be deeply missed by his fans who were touched by the music that Layne
wrote! We lost a great artist and he will never be forgotten! Even though
i had never met Layne but his music has had an impact on me! and my thoughts
and prayers go out to Laynes family and friends and all who loved him!
Ali
For the Staley family and remaining members of Alice in Chains:
I know exactly what it’s like to watch someone you love so much, follow the path of self-destruction. I am a 32-year-old student from New York City, and I currently live in Dallas, TX. My father became addicted to heroine upon returning from Vietnam, and he is still battling with the drug. He has contracted BOTH strains of the hepatitis virus, B and C through drug use. For years I was rendered powerless, and all I could do was watch. My attitude toward his addiction was and is, riddled with pain, anger and resent, I feel cheated from having a father. He now claims that he no longer uses the drug, and I want to desperately believe him, though I am realistic. He is now very ill, the result of years of drug abuse, and I don’t know how I will deal with his passing when it arrives. When that time does come, will the pain be even worse? Will the pain EVER go away?
I am a mother of a four-year-old daughter, and as a parent, I believe that there must be no other loss greater than the loss of a child. As a fan of your son’s music, I’ve read many of the messages of condolences in various Alice in Chains links, but while we’ve lost an idol, you’ve lost a son, a brother, and a friend. While we as fans may be upset, nothing can compare to the devastation and pain you all must be feeling, and for that I’m truly sorry.
Should you receive this message, as I hope that you will, please know that my heart goes out to all of you, I hope, that with the knowledge that Layne is no longer suffering, and that nothing in this world will continue to harm him, serves as a little bit of relief from your pain.
K. Smith
I'm still very saddened by the loss of sweet Layne, for myself and for you other fans, and for the music world, his friends, and his family. We have lost another musical genius to the ugliness of real life in someone else's shoes. Rest in peace, Layne. You'll live on forever...
"I want you to kill me... ...and dig me under... ...I wanna live no more..."
The Puck Bunnies
i would like to say that
i would miss layne. my heart goes out to layne's family. i love u layne and
i will remember u. layne will be alwalys be in heart. i am huge aic.
love
jessica kunz
p.s. rip in layne
this is from my site
at : http://pages.emerson.edu/students/jonathan_hoffman
"Chaos and hate shadow me." I'm still shivering with morbid sadness
as I write this but here it is. Loss of life is something that I force myself
to accept daily. Throughout my childhood I lost my beloved father in 1990,
then my grandfather, my aunt, uncle and my older cousin. Between 1992-1994
I spent a lot of time with a few of my older cousins that truly had an influence
on my brother and me. They inspired me to listen to music as much as I can,
to always keep humor around in my life, to enjoy life and to express myself
as best I can. As I would watch MTV with them, I was totally awestruck by
a few choice videos: Tool- sober and prison sex, Alice In Chains- I Stay Away
and No Excuses. In the seventh grade, there was a time where I heard "Rooster"
and bought the ALICE IN CHAINS self titled album when it came out. From then,
I listened to Dirt in its entirety. I had to listen to it over and over in
my discman and I devoted myself to remembering the band members and anything
and everything else that I could find out about AIC. It quickly became my
favoite album and Alice In Chains became my favorite band of all time.
The dark melodic beauty and feel which is in Alice's style and Layne's unforgettable voice aided me in my life. Inspired me and others in many different ways. When the show FANATIC came out on MTV, my friends told me that I should go on for Alice In Chains. I never really did because I wasn't sure if I fully deserved to meet them. I hoped and I figured with the my other friends and members of the AliceInChains.net Bulletin Board that one day Layne and Alice would put together at least one last album or tour so that I can see the band together once in my life.
Today, a terrible thing was thrown straight into my face when my friend called me from New Orleans about ten minutes ago. "Did you hear the news?" He broke it to me and showed me the internet article confirming your death, Layne. How could this be? I am struck with shock, sorrow and disgusted disbelief still as I type this. I will try to recover from this news like I have tried to recover from the other bad news I have had to cope with, try to forget or simply bury into the darkest pits of my mind and soul. All my condolences to the family, Sean, Jerry, Mike and other friends of Layne--- I am mourning along with you guys.Without you Layne, music as we know it would be forever changed for the worse. Your angelic voice that was once compared to "falling rain" might have been imitated but NEVER duplicated. Your singing/songwriting talents went on to influence and touch the minds, hearts and souls of many. I truly hope you are at a better place now. One free of pain, anguish and addiction. There will never be another like you. A rare type of singer who captured such soul, such emotion, such feeling and such pain in his voice. My life has been drastically, radically changed once again today. This is something that I will try to cope with but my heart and soul will never fully be repaired. Alice In Chains fans everywhere cannot ever fully recover from this sad conclusion to a musical genius' life. We love you and miss you already, man. Someday I hope to God that I will meet you and see my father again. God Bless.
Peace out,
-Jon
Layne's family and friends,
I know this time must be very difficult for all of you. Layne was such a
terrific man, such a kind and caring person who always took care of anyone
who needed love. Over the past few days so many of us have opened up our
hearts and expressed how tremendous his impact was on our lives. I never
met Layne, but I feel like he's part of me, his music was a HUGE part of my
adolescence and "Dirt" is like the soundtrack to my high school
career. I
wish I could say some magic words and make the hurting stop, but I can't.
Just know this, Layne will be sorely missed and his beauty stretches further
than any of us could ever comprehend. He has touched generations of people
with his art, and I think that would make him very happy. Please accept my
sincerest condolences and don't ever forget that I love him, we all love him
so very much, and we won't ever let him fade away, he will live in our
hearts forever...Blessed Be.
Tiffiny Lyons
My site is now almost
back online again and I will soon be able to build the page. As for now you
may be able to do me
a favor and tell Jerry Cantrell or Layne's Family that I have put up a condolence
register at jarofflies.com
You may like check it out yourself
Later
Theo Houtman
I want everyone to know
that Layne was very important to me, even though I didn't know him, for a
variety of reasons. The
same ole, same ole stuff about how his music touched me, stuff that everyone's
said and that I feel stupid saying
since I know that everyones said them. But I feel as if this has forced me
in a direction that I wouldn't have chosen
without Layne passing away--a path that I was forced to acknowledge and act
upon.
I gave up drugs and alcohol
for him, because I felt as if his dying was someone trying to make a point
with me and get
me off the path that I was going toward. I was looking forward to this summer
so that I could experiment with
drugs, specifically the harder ones. The ones like heroin and speed. The ones
that would mess up my life. I'm 15, and
the whole time I knew it was wrong and bad for me, and blah blah but that
never stops anyone. I was convinced that it
wouldn't be me that something bad like addiction happened to, never me, always
someone else, like Layne. But then this
happened and I realized Layne was no different from anyone else in anyway
at all.
This is something I wrote when I found out.
=======================
Bluff
God called my bluff. I had thought I was safe and free from the demons, but God, being God, had to be right. Ultimately.
What does it take to
change a person's beliefs? Nothing short of trauma. I had believed that drugs
were something I
could control and that the prices to be paid were ones I would never have
to pay. I wasn't a junkie, but I won't deny
that drugs leech into everything that you are. When a person starts to use,
they are instantly inducted into the
Worldwide Addicts Association--a non-discriminating club whose logs are always
open to new members. The counselors
are always available to help you find a new, better high, always pushing for
the Enlightenment.
The Enlightenment beign death, which Denis Leary insightfully labels "the Ultimate High".
I was a member, and all
memberships are life-long. The induction is one of many things--a snort, a
puff, a
pin-prick in the bend of an arm, a snack... Rules are loosely based on one
theme--Drugs. What am I on now? If I am
not on anything right now, why is that and how can I fix this situation? This
predicament?
I had believed that it was okay to indulge, that suffering was for others and not for me. God had laughed and told me I was wrong.
"Prove it," I said, taking a drag from a glass pipe.
The next day I got the news.
He was dead. Just like
that and he was gone, and there was God with his hand on his shoulder with
this solemn look. God
had called my bluff, the son of a bitch. Now he was dead and it was so sudden
I couldn't understand what... my head was
spinning and the ground was shaking...
On my knees with tears in my eyes.
"So this is it?" he asks, like it doesn't bother him that he's dead.
And then he's gone. But he was gone before... but now he's really gone so that I can't see him and I whimper because I can't... scream.
And God, who does everything for a reason, I thinking mockingly, is still there to show me, once again, my faults and my downfalls.
"I needed it," I say, looking up at God, vision still blurred through my tears, my eyes already raw. "I need the pain."
God shakes its head, 'No'.
"The lesson..."
A nod. I cried.
======================
A little melodramatic,
but it's what I felt at the moment.Like God was shaking his head at me in
that maddening way. I
read it now and feel stupid, but it's what I was thinking, what I was feeling
with all of my soul. This thing that's
happened was just a way to show me that I was... that I could be something
like Layne. I had so much potential and I
had the power to either use it or to toss it away with my growing obsession
with drugs and narcotics. Because it was an obsession...
I also wrote a poem,
and I had someone take it to the vigil on the 26th. Another outreaching of
myself into my journal
to try and figure out what I was feeling and to deal with the grief that I
had.
Finally [for Layne]
4.21.02
by Mary Helen Chaplin
Were you all that you
wanted to be?
When the lamp goes off is
The day over?
Is all said and done
When you exhale that
Final
Time____
When you see yourself
below
Do you feel afraid to fly
Away on the
Final
Breeze____
Was life as big a disappointment
As God means it to be to those
Who CARE and LOVE?
When you think back are you
Glad you gave the
Final
Fuck you____
================
I've had so much grief
and depression that I almost let it put me down to the level where I couldn't
function. I was
having panic attacks when I went into crowds of people. They would get to
where I couldn't breathe and I would sit there,
bent over and shaking and praying that I would see the end of this... pain.
I didn't realize it had hit me this hard. I
didn't know him, but you don't have to know someone for it to touch you this
deeply evidently.
I think it's important
that people understand that he was more to us then a singer and a "rockstar".
People don't
mourn rockstars, they mourn friends and loves. Layne gave us so much of himself
with his music that he endeared himself
to his fans and became so much more than an idol or icon or representation
of the lifestyle that many people aspire to.
I hope... pray, that everyone who feels what I feel for the loss of this friend
passes swiftly. I don't feel he'd want
us all moping around for his sake, but it's hard to let go of someone so influential
and important to me.
I sometimes don't know
what I feel, but this reaching out to each other and sharing of our feelings
really helps... I was
too young to ever see him live, but maybe I'll see him in the next life.
Mary
My heart goes out to
Layne, all his family and friends, and to all the fans
who love his music. The music of Layne and Alice In Chains has touched my
life and given me enjoyment and pleasure and for that I am grateful. Layne,
you were loved and will be greatly missed, I hope you've found peace.
Alex
Layne, you will never
be forgotten. Peace to you my brother, and peace to
your friends and family. Soar with the angels.......
Thomas
Since today is the funeral,
i would like for the family & close friends to see this, if possible.
i wish i could tell you the type of connection i've had with Layne for the
past several months, it has been strong, but also confusing. it wasn't
totally clear until last weekend, when i found out. i'm afraid to go into
detail, bc some of it is quite unbelievable. i know many had feelings for
him, his friends from the distant past and his fans in general, and i can
just imagine all the msgs you must be receiving. please believe that
this one is important. i can only tell you that what i saw last night was
a message from above, and i hope it will comfort those in pain. thank
you so much. ~kk
night of 042702
after reading, i went to sleep. i fell into the deepest state of sleep, unlike
any other, and here is what i saw:
Layne is in a place, surrounded by light, strong and warm and glowing all
around him.
it nurtures him and he is safe and happy, feeling the utmost contentment and
peace.
he is not gone, but exists only as energy now. he is still himself, even on
the other side.
it is a beautiful place, where he will grow and learn and rest before returning
to this place.
he is being cared for and healed and loved. for now, he is home.
when i awoke in the middle of the night, i felt such ....such a deep feeling
of truth and continuity. it started to rain. i thanked him outloud for
the dream, and at that very moment it started to pour down like the whole
sky had opened. it was such a relief to know that he's ok. in my
deep state of unconsciousness, other messages were hazy, but he did say that
he has no bad feelings toward anyone. i believe what i saw
is the truth, and i hope it comforts you. i felt i had to tell you. thank
you so much for listening.
~kira
Someting in the way, i cant brake
through
Something in the way friend i feel ive lost u
Something in way of my flowwing blood
Surges through my vein with a stinging love
Cant stand to heal
and i wont try to mend
Body contorts and my mind begins to bend
Souls been hiden
my minds been bitchen
to be always high is wht im wishing
Look through faded eyes
Clouds secrets i no longer care to hide
Find my body
this life corspe
of hope gone sour....
have no remorse
For now im free to sing with the angels
now im free to see life from all angles
and now feel love in my new found day
and there is no longer anything in the way
Hey its like fucking
6:30 iin the mormning on the 28th and the bruises from hitting those gold
rails are just starting to set in, but i just wanted
to say thanx for paying tribute to a hero with faults. thanx for playing good
music and being a good band, and most of all for being good
people....JEsus Christ i must sound like a sappy psyco but fuck it. You guys
reallly took me someplace i needed to go in my head and i
really apperciate that.
thanx again
Chris
What Layne Staley Meant to Me
It's hard to find words
for a man I never met, but
felt I almost knew; for a man no longer with us, but
whose presence will be with us always; for a man so
distant from those who sought and admired him, yet so
close and dear to our hearts. Perhaps words are not
enough.
How can I possibly express
my gratitude to a man who
changed my life? How can I thank someone whose music,
thoughts, and creativity touched my soul and grabbed
my heart when no one else could?
I'm not alone in my
mourning, but the pain is - and
will always be - personal. I am struggling with the
realization that I've lost someone I felt I could
relate to, who perhaps understood what it was like to
be me, who faced some of the problems I faced. I used
to get angry at those who mocked me or refused to
understand how someone I didn't know could mean so
much to me. Amid all this pain I'm feeling, despite
the tragic circumstances surrounding Layne's untimely
death, it is truly them that I pity; not him, not me,
not his family, friends, nor fans. For while we ache
knowing this beautiful person and creative force has
been lost and taken from us, it is they who live with
the shame of trivializing his life and art; it is they
who live with the defect in their soul that prevents
them from feeling true compassion; and it is they who
live with the disgrace of not being able to relate to
something and someone so identifiable, so inspiring,
so insightful, so beautiful.
I will never deny that
Layne was a broken man with
many burdens, but in seeing the world through his eyes
- with his art and his music - many of my own burdens
were lifted and struggles ceased.
Perhaps I will never
find the words to properly
express my gratitude. Perhaps an opportunity to show
my appreciation will never present itself. The best I
can do is not forget what he and his work meant to me,
and hold on to the strength and resolve I was fed
through that life and work. And while it hurts to
realize he's gone, I refuse to let his influence leave
me.
"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue
but with actions and in truth." I John 3:18
Layne - I don't know if you ever felt the love of God
in your life, but thank you for unknowingly allowing
Him to work in mine through you. I am forever
grateful. ~ Heather Derby
hello,
we are a small music
fan e-zine site... please add us to your links... we did a small tribute to
Layne and all are saddened by his loss-
the link to the main page is below, we have stuff their and on a seperate
page- Thanks-
Peace-
SoundZ crew
http://gurlpages.com/sound z/SoundZ1.html
I'm not sure who is going
to end up receiving this, but I don't care who reads it. I've already written
once before, but I felt the need to write again. I keep thinking, "It
can't be true. There must be a mistake." I think that is something that
everyone thinks whenever they have lost someone. The pain I feel for the loss
of Layne is nothing compared to the immense grief that his family and friends
must be feeling. I have lost several people in my life, including my mother
who suffered for several years before passing away. I look just like her.
I have shown people pictures of her when she was younger, and they think it's
me. Sometimes it's hard to even look in the mirror because I see her, and
it reminds me that she's not here. I was 12 when she died, my little sister
was 6. My mom was 39. It makes me sad when I think of all the things she will
miss, like my marriage and when I have children. But I know that she's still
around, watching and laughing. My mom was always full of laughter. I didn't
know Layne personally, though I wish I had been given the chance. I would
have enjoyed talking about all kinds of things. I love to read, it's one of
my favorite hobbies. I also love to draw. My grandfather is an artist, he
does oil paintings. While I'm not very good with paints, I can kick ass (pardon
my French) with a sketchbook and some pencils. I would love to do a portrait
of Layne to send to his parents. I'm looking for the perfect picture of him.
If there is a post office box that his parents use, or another address I could
send it to once I'm done, I'd be most grateful. I just hope the drawing will
turn out good. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my drawings, and I tend
to get frustrated if it doesn't meet my expectations. I will miss Layne. I
always tried to keep updated with AIC stuff on the web, and I felt that I
had gotten to know a part of him through his music. The music helped me through
some really bad times. It's hard being angry or sad and not having an outlet.
One of my favorite things to do is put in the Facelift album in the cd player
in my truck, turn it up really, really loud, and sing along at the top of
my lungs. I can't sing worth a flip, that's why I turn it up so loud, so even
I don't have to listen to myself! But it lets off some of the weight from
my shoulders, and that's all that matters. I recently went on a car trip with
my dad, who just turned 50, to go to his dad's funeral. I had him put on the
Jar of Flies album. He turned it off on the third song. I was like, "What
are you doing! That's good music!" But he just looked at me like I was
deaf. Oh well, he doesn't have to like it. Well, I don't want to bore whoever
is reading this with anymore of my personal stories. That's one of my worst,
and endearing, qualities. I talk to everyone like they are my best friend
and should know everything about me. I am an open-book type of person, I guess
you could say. So, if anyone knows where I could send my drawing when I finish
it so that his parents can receive it, please let me know. It would be an
honor to create something that would bring his parents some joy. Thanks for
your time and patience. God bless, and don't forget, Layne hasn't left us,
he's still here, watching and laughing. Shannon
Hi, I'm a 28 year old
mother of two boys and since I was about 17 or 18
Alice In Chains was probably my favorite band. Layne's voice to me was
the best around. His music got me through rough times with problems at
home, especially with my father. I feel if it wasn't for his music during
those times I really can't say where I would be now. I live in Tacoma,
Washington and when I found out about his death in was on the morning
news on a scroll across the bottom of the screen. I was in shock for the
first day. It really didn't hit me that he had passed on until about two
days later when KISW was playing songs from Alice In Chains as a tribute.
It was sad to me that they were the only radio station that really seemed
to care about what happened. Unfortunately because of car problems I
wasn't able to make it to the vigil in Seattle. I wish I knew someone who
was going up there yesterday so I could have went. Layne and AIC were so
influential in my life. Right after high school I started writing short
stories and started working on a novel. His music influenced it. When I
would sit down to write I would put on my headphones and start listening
to Facelift and then the words would start pouring in. If anyone from his
family reads this I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find peace
in his passing knowing he will Always live in your hearts and in the
hearts and memories of all the people he touched. I never met him and
sadly never got to see him in concert but for me and all the fans out
there his music will never die, we will keep it in our hearts. Layne, I
hope you have found peace. You will always be in our hearts and your
music and memory will continue to go on.
Blessed Be,
Melissa
This is something I wrote and would like for Layne's family to see. They don't know me but if they know I'm David's girlfriend, they'll know who I am.
Thank you.
Peace be with you,
Jennifer
Did he think “I Can’t Remember” my last normal day?
Hate to think you felt “All Alone” when in our hearts you are always
a ray of “Sunshine”
Bet he smiled thinking fondly of the “Long Gone Day” to hear those who loved him sing the songs so close to his heart
My life was not all lonely
and sad, if you think so you “Got Me Wrong”
Weep not, it was not all a “Sea of Sorrow” or a “Nothin’
Song” but just like my fellow fans and full of “Love, Hate, Love”
Did not chose to be a “Man In The Box” living the empty life like an underpaid worker in the “Sludge Factory”
To put it all in a “Nutshell” my battle was like a “Whale and Wasp”, vice was much bigger and had no mercy
Vice took me down the muddy “River of Deceit”
“Would?” things have been different if I’d taken the “Right Turn” instead of a left?
On April 19th “Wake Up” she said as my body lay “Lifeless Dead”, I scream but nobody can hear my cries
For now “I’m Above” and think, for once I am “So Close” to all who I love and loved me in return so close I ask “Am I Inside”
“God Am” I really here? A free spirit released from the pain, relief to get out of that “Angry Chair”
One bit of advice before you leave this earth make sure you know the answers to your questions you’ll ask when it’s done, was I a good “Brother” a son and a friend?
Rid the “Shame In You” and live life to it’s fullest because you only get one chance, this is the “Real Thing”
Take it from now a legend don’t pick up that needle to shoot and if you do and your “Head Creeps” did you already forget I’m all around and that’s my way of telling you “I Know Somethin (Bout You)”
Think you’re invincible? Think back on Layne Thomas Staley to quickly remind you of the truth
At times when you feel “God Smack” you upside your head, its cause he loves you and has to remind you to be a real person, don’t be superficial or sellout and let the blood in your veins become “Artificial Red”
If ever in the “November Hotel” dealing with the daily “Grind” to the point you “Hate to Feel” think of my new home, it’s so surreal
“Dirt” people will sling, words so unkind, like they can see inside you, as if you were transparent with an “X-Ray Mind”
Even after his passing people still “Put You Down” for the choices you made.
Do they ever think, this path may have been chosen for you and you may not have had a say?
Everyone try to live your life to the fullest for when you gone you can make “No Excuses”
“Bleed The Freak” that did not appreciate him, his gifts, his angry angelic voice that brought comfort to our hearts in times of pain. For those you judge him for his path in life, from all Alice In Chains Fans we say “Swing On This” for once let an angel rest in peace.
Should “I Stay Away” he thought because I don’t want anyone to see my pain I fear “I Don’t Know Anything” all I do know is “We Die Young” and I am your proof.
Sunday my body will go “Down In A Hole” try not to cry please “Dam That River” cause it’s just “Them Bones” in that box
Often thought will the tears fall like “Rain When I Die” now I no longer have to wonder
Don’t cry or weep for “Heaven’s Beside You” and heaven holds me
“Brush Away” that frown, trust this fact, we’ll meet “Again”
Please don’t remember me as a “Sickman”, “Junk Head” and am not a “Rotten Apple” or a lost cause please try to understand I was full of “Confusion”
For the fans who love me please “Don’t Follow” in my footsteps, God used me as an example for you because he loves you
I’m the “Rooster” that wakes you up, the “Frogs” that give you warts, if you know me I was a jokester of sort
Sure you think it’s “Over Now”, think again my fellow friend “It Ain’t Like That”. I’m right beside you singing along to all our favorite Alice In Chains and MadSeason songs.
Dear Jerry, Sean & Mike!
I know the hell You are living in now. It was a big blow for me, when I inquired after Layne.
He was a very close friend for You and a fantastic rock vocalist for me. I have known Him less than You, but I think HE was A GREAT MAN. I will never forget songs like “Man In the Box”, “Junkhead” or “Nutshell”. His tragic death is a sad but true example for what these fuckin’ drugs do with us. I am very sad because of that what happened.
But I’ve got an idea. Why couldn’t You try to do something like Chris Cornell, Mike McCready and others after Andy Wood’s death? I know it’s very difficult for You to think about something like that, but it could be a great tribute for LAYNE. I think he could be very glad if He knew that some people in this fuckin’ world still remember about HIM, yes?
It’s better to remember about your best friend than doing the same mistakes HE did and drown in the shitty drugs.
Well, I hope you’ll think about that and write back soon.
Your biggest fan,
Cyhoo
- Poland
I have struggled for
days since hearing the news.
I did not know when or how I should express myself,
so I'm just going to release what's inside me.
I wonder how someone
I have never met could have
touched me so deeply, how I could consider him my
friend though our paths have never crossed.
How he has brought us all together as brothers and
sisters, and yet we have never met.
I find myself constantly
thinking of his last moments
among us, and it pains me to think that he died alone.
My hopes are that it was painless and that his torment
and pain were replaced with a peacefulness that
he so richly deserved.
I would like to send
my condolences to Layne's family,
friends, his brothers Jerry, Sean, Mike and Mike and
the rest of you beautiful people who mourn his passing
as I do. I take comfort in the fact that he is in a better
place now, a place that won't beat him down for being
a human being who made a mistake he could not
undo, no matter how hard he tried.
God bless you Layne,
and thank you for giving me
something that I may hold onto for as long as I may
live. Your voice will ring in my heart and my mind
forever. You're finally free my friend.
Peace be with you.
Christopher
I set up a
Vigil for Layne at the Boston Common tomorrow afternoon at 2 oclock. One of
the local radio stations wants to get involved as well.... If you want to
come up, please do....
Craig
......."my pain
is self chosen......"
if it wasnt for AIC i
would not be here.7 years ago I was no better off
than layne himself dying alittle more every day. i m one of the lucky
ones to walk away from addiction. the only possesion I had was 3 cds and
the crapiest radio in the world but it worked and it was mine
my 3 cds where facelift dirt and nirvanas nevermind I -played dirt till
my batteries died some how i knew this man was feeling the same way as i
was. a few days clean i went to an old buddies house he said i could
crash there i did all the while listening to my 3 cds just trying to
stay clean. drugs where all aroud but i made it i wasnt sure why or how
till saturday when i heard the news god bless layne and rest in peace my
friend.you are and always will be one of the great ones. the music world
and the whole world are better off for you touched so many with real
feelings and i thank you!
nolongerasickman
I can honestly say that
Layne's music, Alice in Chains music saved my life. I would not have made
it through the severe depression I faced as a teenager without it. Us musicians
are tragically emotional rocking boats. I have so much thanks for Layne. Without
him I would not have the chance to be a mom to a beautiful 15 month old. Thank
you. We are all so sorry and heartbroken for the Staley family's loss. I know
with time, old wounds heal as much as they can, each day gets a little easier
to get through. Thank goodness for fond memories. Our family loves you :)
~ Laura
Dear Staley family and Alice in Chains,
I did not know Layne
personally. All I know of him is his beautiful,
haunting voice that has captured and still captures the essence of my own
pain better than my own poetry has ever been able to do. I have struggled
with depression and drinking problems, and still struggle with manic
depression and a chronic, incurable illness.
In 1995 I first heard
Alice and Chains and fell in love with Layne's
voice and the amazingly talented band. Since that day, Alice in Chains
has been my favorite band, and Layne has been and still is without
question my favorite vocalist.
When I hear that voice,
something inside me just breaks and I completely
lose my sense of self. I let myself drown in the beauty of and sheer
emotion in Layne's voice, and feel compelled to sing along, regardless of
where I am and who I am subjecting to my own (terrible) singing. No other
musician has ever been able to reach me in this way. In moments of severe
depression, Layne's voice encourages me to endure, and in moments of
apathy teaches me to feel again.
I never got a chance
to thank either Layne or the band for their music,
so i wanted to write something now, belated though this may be, to say
how much both Layne and Alice in Chains mean to me.
I am deeply saddened
by Layne's passing, and I wish there was something I
could do to lessen the pain for myself but more importantly for those who
knew Layne much better than I did: his family, bandmates, and friends.
All I can do is express my very deepest sympathies.
I will always remember
Layne just as I knew him, through his music, and I
will always love intensely both his voice and Alice in Chains.
Sincerely,
Radha
First of all, I would
just like to thank you for this site. It means a lot
knowing that there are many others out there that also cared about Layne and
want to pay their respects to him.
Layne Staley's death has affected me in ways I never thought possible. It
is
only now that I truly know how much I cared about him and his music, and I
know I'll always feel something missing in me; a void that used to be filled
by Layne's unmistakable voice and heart-wrenching lyrics. Layne, if you're
listening, myself and many others were touched by you and it is a feeling
that will never leave us. Godspeed, Layne...I hope you are finally at peace.
-John DeFelice
4/26 @ 8pm. Seattle Center
International Fountain
I'm trying to let as many people as i can, that we have scheduled a memorial
for the wouldshed bbs and all other AIC fans that would like to come and celebrate
this wonderful man who's life was cut so short. If you could, please pass
on the information.
thank you
peace
melene
There have only been
two albums that I have ever heard that mad me fall in love with a band on
first listen. "Dirt" was one of them (the other being STP's Core).
Those albums are my Beatles. "Dirt" changed the way I look at music
today. Alice In Chains showed me that there is more to music than catchy tunes.
I think from that point on, music has been a huge part of my life. For that
I say thank you.
Here is my tribute to Layne Staley.
http://www.scotthescht.net/layne.html
- Scott Hescht
I just wanted to say how sorry I am that all of Layne's friends, family and fans are feeling such grief. I have been an AIC fan for several years now. I'm only 22, so I wasn't really introduced to AIC until after they had already been out for a while. But it didn't take long for me to become a die-hard fan. Layne and the band's music helped me through some very hard times. My mother died on New Year's Eve when I was 12. My grandmother died the same day seven years later. My grandfather recently passed away. My husband has been dealing with a severe illness that has almost cost him his life. His music helps to get some of the pain out. You listen to the words, you feel the words, and you know that somewhere, somehow, when all is said and done, everything will be ok. The pain lessens and becomes fond memories instead. When you think of the people you lose, there is always going to be some pain. But eventually, when you think of him, you'll smile, because Layne was a good person, and he was special. He had his faults, as all of us do, and instead of hiding them behind a fake smile, he sung his heart out about his problems, and then he was able to smile a real smile. He dealt with his pain in his own way, and it made him happy to share his burdens through his music. My husband used to tease me because I had printed some pictures of Layne off the net and made a poster of the pictures. I used to tell him, "If you looked like that, I'd hang up a bunch of pictures of you too!" He knows I was just teasing him back. : ) Layne was special to me because he helped me deal with all the pain I've had in my life. After my mom died, my dad wasn't around very much, and he drowned his grief in alcohol. I had to raise my six year old sister almost by myself. I had a lot of anger and hate towards my father, because he wasn't there for me when I needed him most. After I found AIC, I realized that I was dealing with my pain on my own, and that my dad was dealing with his pain in his own way, and Layne dealt with his through his music, which helped me deal with mine. I am thankful to him for sharing a piece of himself with me. I am saddened by his death, but I am thankful for his life. So, Layne's mom and dad, thanks for gifting Layne to the world. He was an amazing person, and an endless spirit. He isn't dead; he lives on in our hearts. He walks with us and is there for us, even though we can no longer see him. Take comfort in knowing that he is now our guardian angel, and will be forever smiling down on us. God bless. Shannon Lopez
layne is an angel who has returned home.
aic999
April 21st, a Sunday,
the day I heard of Staley's passing. I couldn't believe it, yet I wasn't that
surprised sadly. Yet that whole day I found myself almost in tears thinking
about the his death. I've always been a true Alice in chain fan and it really
got to me, straight through the heart it was. This may sound a little selfish
but I was also angered that I would never see another aic album, I mean Alice
In Chains was everything to me, my inspiration, my reason for being a musician
really. My heart goes out to all of Layne's family and friends, and especially
Jerry, Mike, Mike, and Sean, I know they have it the worst out of all of us...........
god bless you Layne
David J B
I became a fan of Alice
in Chains back in seventh grade and they have been my
favorite band ever since that time. Layne's voice, lyrics, and the emotion
that he conveyed in his music have touched me time and time again and have
helped me through some very difficult times. For every situation in my life
that I've been in there's been an Alice in Chains song to accompany it. I
couldn't imagine my life without their music. More recently I had bought the
Mad Season and album, and I was amazed by the power of Layne's voice on that
record-It was the most soulful thing I'd heard in years. When I read the
first report of Layne's death, I couldn't believe it was real... I was in
shock for the next few hours and even five days later, I still can't say what
I feel... It's a very great loss to the world. Rest in peace, Layne, I'm sure
you're in a better place now. My deepest condolences to his friends and
family.
~R. Jens Marcelis
P.S. Attached is a picture I did a few hours after I heard... A kind of
tribute.
Back in '91/'92 there
was a kid who went to my school who's sister, Demri, was said to be the long
time girlfriend of Layne. My best friend & I always hoped this kid or
one of his friends would think we were cool enough to invite to anything that
might be attended by Layne &/or Demri. We never asked to be invited. It
never happened. I'm glad he & his friends didn't exploit what they knew
of this local "rockstar". Though back then I was quite envious,
especially when at an Alice in Chains show watching these three classmates
go in & out of the backstage area.
I first saw Alice in Chains October 24th 1989 as an opening act for Danger
Danger, & Warrant. By the time the "Man in the Box" video was
released I had this above mentioned best friend who had also been at that
same 1989 concert. We both were like, "Holy Shit! That's that band we
saw. We have got to start hanging out in Seattle." Of course neither
of us had cars or a driver's license, so the only time we were in Seattle
was when we could take the bus- Saturday and we were home by 9. We lived in
the sticks, the bus service sucked. Most of what we knew of Seattle bands
we read in The Rocket.
Despite transportation challenges I always made it to Alice concerts. Remember
the annual benefit shows? They were the best. I had the greatest time seeing
them at the Paramount what seemed like a decade after seeing them there the
first time.
When I saw the Facelift video/cd package, I grabbed it and watched & listened
for years. Facelift is a classic. I love the others too, but Facelift is my
fave. It feels timeless. Boys used to ask my friend & I, "Why do
such nice girls like you listen to such angry music?" To this day my
answer is , "Because it feels good." For me it's rarely been anger
I've felt in the music, it was the raw strength. It is music that is very
easy to draw energy from.
I am very sorry for the loss. I feel so silly for crying. I didn't know him,
yet he meant so much.
Layne's voice has forever touched my soul, and will again each time I hear
his music.
Thank You,
Angela
Hi. Nice web page by
the way.
I got your address from the AIC message board and I thought I'd write.
Not sure what to say, since Sunday, when I heard I guess I'm still shocked
by the news of Layne's death.
I've been playing the albums since Sunday constantly. But the more I listen
the sadder I get.
Layne's through AIC were and still are magical to me. They speak to me burrowing
deep beneath my skin right into my soul.
My two favourite albums are 'Dirt' and 'Jar of Flies' and are regular companions
to me when I write or when I'm feeling blue, they can sometimes perk me up
y'know?
Listening to AIC's music, to me, is the aural equivalent of watching a deep
burning red sunset smear its self across the sky or that early calm feeling
of a dawn breaking.
I'll never forget Layne or AIC.
I hope he's found his peace.
My condolences to his friends, fellow AIC band members, family and his fans.
regards,
Deian Vincent
because i live in a tiny
place in northern norway and don't have anybody to share my thoughts or feelings
with right now, i've started a tribute project for layne as my way to deal
with this loss...
two blank notebooks will be sent around to the people who sign up for them.
i've limited it to 25 people per notebook, and the list for the first one
is already filled. in the notebooks people can pay tribute to layne in any
way they wish - with letters, poems, paintings, drawings, anything they feel
comfortable with. when the books are filled and i get them back, i hope to
somehow get them to the people who were close to layne, the remaining members
of the band, his family, so they can see what he's meant to his fans throughout
the world and know that his memory will live on. there are all kinds of fans
in on this project, ranging from people like me who's barely 17 and pretty
new to alice in chains, to people who grew up with alice and have been dedicated
fans for many years.
through this i've gotten in touch with a lot of people who have been very
supportive and it's been a good way for me to feel like i'm doing something
to honour layne. although i realize someone should have done this for him
while he was still alive and that i've been too young to care, at least now
i will do my best to keep his memory and the music alive.
anyone who'd like to participate can contact me at frozen17@online.no
and i'll tell you how you can sign up for the 2nd notebook.
stay warm, everyone.
-vivian
When I heard of Layne's
death my heart stopped, and I had trouble breathing.
It hurts so much to know that someone so beautifully gifted and dedicated
has been taken from us. i wish so much that i could talk with Layne for
just five minutes because i don't think he realized just how big of an
influence he was to the music world and to his fans. Layne i love you for
the life you lived and the inspiration you gave and continue to give me. i
hope now that you can finally be at peace. you will be missed beyond words.
Let me sleep so my teeth don't grind.
Steve
YOU WERE THAT COMFORTING
BOTTLE THAT YOU COULD DROWN IN AFTER THOUGHS DARK
MOMENTS...AND NOW ITS EMPTY. FAREWELL MY FRIEND, MAY YOU REST IN PEACE
BEN
Time will not heal, but
as time passes the pain dulls. If you are willing
to remember Layne, then he will be willing to live in your memory and in
your heart.
Shawna
"I'm only a fan,unfortuntely
I never met him,but from his lyrics i can see what kind of great person he
was.Well that's my only impression.i loved his voice,his lyrics,he drove me
in the darker times of my life.He was my favourite singer, and Alice were
my favourite band.I take part in your mourning,you who knew him:I can see
your pain,through mine that I only knew him as an artist.I'm really sorry.He
will ever rest in with me,in my heart
federica
Y'know, I heard the news over 3 days ago and I am still in shock. Layne
and AiC was an inspiration for everything I did (and still do) musically.
Hell, I even named my first born son after him - Layne Michael. What a
tremendous loss to the music community and to his family and friends. We
have all lost a truly talented musician, artist and person. Layne, RIP
wherever you are. You're in a better place now, but we'll all miss you
more than you could ever imagine.
A heartbroken fan,
Brian W.
I have been an immense
fan of Layne's art since I first discovered music in
'93. By and far I have considered Alice in Chains to be the largest
musical influence of their era. Layne's lyrics and vocal stylings have
meant so much to me, and have affected me personally more than I could
express. I speak for many when I say that his words have helped me through
difficult times and dark days of my own, and will continue to do so every
time I hear them. I pray that at last he has found peace. He will be
remembered as a great artist and an influence that has changed the world
for a generation.
"Say goodbye, don't follow..."
Rest In Peace Layne. A generation mourns your passing.
Keith J. Kraemer Jr.
I am the woman who started
the first remembrance site at
http://devoted.to/layne
Maybe you have seen it already, maybe not...
But, it would be great, if you could link to it on your page...
Thanks!
~Erika
i thought this was a sad sad loss to the music indrustry and every 1 who was a fan of grunge rock! i statred listening to aic when i was like 11 now i am 24 and i have had my struggles with drugs not herion but others and his music and lyrics expressed the feeling u get when u are fighting this addiction he comforted people i love their music have every album saw them here in utah when they first came out they are a big part of my every day music i hope laynes life lives on through his great music RIP layne stayley sorry to his family and to the other great people in aic!!!!!!!!!!
yours truly kim
I idolized him as a musician
and a man with a wonderful self-reflexive humor and presence. I wish I could
have told him how much his life influenced others but then again he knew that
and his essence exists forever in his music and our memories. I am a young
man changed by Layne's spirited voice that carries the wind, rain, and sunshine.
Thank you for Layne.
"The music that we made, the wind has carried all of that away, Long
gone days." - Mad Season.
Love James Sweeney
To The Staley Family:
Your son and brother
greatly enriched the lives of myself as well ad my
entire circle of friends. As we have all grown up and gone on to find our
niches in society as a whole we have never discarded our love for an
allegiance to the complicated and disturbingly graphic images Layne strung
together. We have always held his talent in awe but regarded that as his
mind as well as his voice and pen. Thank you for nurturing this supreme
giant of an artistic force and thank you for allowing me to express my
condolences and rgret, what we've feared for as long as I can remember Alice
In Chains has occurred and yet I am no less tense about him than ever. I
pray he has found peace. His good heart deserves a good rest.
Taylor
Here
is a memorial illustration of the late AIC singer/founder and lyricist Layne
Staley done in pen and ink and Oil Pastels in the background by me
Alex
Just a quick question
for you guys and an email. Not really sure where
to turn. ..you guys are probably the biggest fans though... What a
devastating loss. I am probably the only psycho that thinks this, but I
used to enjoy knowing each day that somewhere in this big world was layne
staley living his life, even if it wasn't productive at that moment.
Anyways, now that layne is gone, do you guys think you will ever play any
of his mad season? I have seen you live several times, and have been
very impressed each and every time. Though it is opinion, I have just
always felt that some of his mad season tracks really allowed his intense
emotional vocals to shine alone. I know you are an aic tribute band, but
I can't help but wonder if his loss will change things for you guys....
Thanks, Paul
A devastated fan who
never wanted to brace for the worst- fucking
horrible
I'm sure you've heard,
but Layne was found dead in his Seattle apartment from an apparent Heroin
overdose.
The sad part is that it was three days before someone discovered him, suggesting
he was alone.
Thanks for keeping his soul alive, fellas.
Regards,
Hoss
"...down in a hole, losin' my soul..."
ive been up since 500am this morning and ive been trying to find out for sure if its true, i finally got through to k-rock where they confirmed it, there will never be a more heart stabbing pain in my heart than now! i will never be same and neither will music, and would you believe mtv isnt saying shit about it, but when some monkey dies they put it on fucken chanel 12!!! im angry sick and overwhelemed with sorrow, well im speechless, i love you always layne rest in eternal peace, love heidi
I dont know if your band
is still together or not, however its a shame a lot
of years of good music has seemed to slip out of sight. I was searching for
some good AIC web sites but nothing seemed to grab my eye till I saw yours.It
seems your last gig was back in '99 i really hope thats not true, music like
this should never go away.
I became an AIC fan in the 9th grade and i still continue to adore
them( I love my Jerrbear). I enjoy a lot of there basic songs and admire the
chemistry and true harmony their music belts out. They were and always will
be a true angelic force in my taste of music. PLEASE respond to my letter
if
you know of any cover band in california or anywhere west of the mississippi.
greatfully yours,
K.Duran